this beer tastes like vomit already
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
