I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
