Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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