True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
