Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
