Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize