There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
