I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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