you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
