It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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