Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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