For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
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