I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
