just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize