I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Screwed.edu
I accidentally burped into my bong.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
