he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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