i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
