My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
