if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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