oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize