that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
