I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
