You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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