I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
