I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Send help, water and tortillas.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize