I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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