I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
