i just google imaged poop.
there was a trapeze. enough said
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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