Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
