well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
