Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
