On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
