That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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