The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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