I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
