did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize