Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
