i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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