where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
