YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
