Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
