o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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