are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
