she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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