How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
