One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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