Just cropdusted the office
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
