Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
