He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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