I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
