Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
