i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My pussy is not your playground.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
