Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
