I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
