therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
