I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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