Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
