My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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