I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
