did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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