It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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