You can't motorboat a personality
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
