just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
