my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
