He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize