this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my shit smells like andre
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Randomize
