Don't you send me to vm
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
