i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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