Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
