I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I look better un-naked...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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