i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
