If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
