fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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