an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
