So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My vagina is very pro this idea
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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