This is not my ceiling
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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