Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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