we have officially lost it.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
