Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize