I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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