at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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