I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just high enough for therapy.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
