I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize