Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Couch. On fire.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
