I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
