That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Never joke about your clitoris.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
