So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
