Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish I only lived at night.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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