I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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