i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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