She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
