Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize