I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
