sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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