The brown eye won't let me do that either.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
