Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
