I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
